Here we are with another roundup of items of interest, guaranteed to feed your RSS reader like a Porterhouse down the gullet of a high-heeled cowboy boot wearing bribe-taker. No. Please stay. The references are only as dumb as they sound.

EL PASO FBI CORRUPTION CASE:
Lawyer Martie Jobe’s got issues. [Hat Tip: Newspaper Tree.]

Former First Southwest Company’s Hector Zavaleta Jr, may have been working for the G-Men, sez someone from out of state. Ermm, OK. Next.

Did not know until last week that the El Paso Times has a players list and timelines of events in the corruption case. You can find it here.

From the Department of Non-story Departments, Ramon Bracamontes of the El Paso Times tells us that speculation and rumors abound at the El Paso County Courthouse after the May FBI raid. What — civil servants engaged in speculation and rumor, possibly on company time? Say it ain’t so, Ramon! What’s next, goofing off, watching TV, surfing the Internet and updating resumes???

EL PASO’S SPINNING WHEELS OF JUSTICE: District Clerk Gilbert Sanchez says the wheels of justice are running off the rails over at the County Attorney’s Office. That assumes that justice on the Border had wheels to begin with.

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT KILLED IN EL PASO: He’d not been shot at the 28 previous times he unlawfully entered the US. Bonus: The loopy Border Network for Human Rights appears.

USBP AGENT CHARGED WITH MURDER IN ARIZONA: County Judge takes action against the Feds over there.

WELL, DUH: A Mexican narco linked to Osvaldo Aldrete-Davila of shot-in-the-butt-ocks fame has pleaded guilty to operating a Davila drug stash house. Limp-a-long Davila, of course, gained fame and free Army medical care when he got plugged in an incident with USBP Agents Ramos and Compean, who were notorious for their selfless service to the Constitution. US Attorney Johnny Sutton remains involved up to his butt-ocks in this continuing border scandal, in particular trying to sort out whether Davila took a drug load through a Port-of-Entry while he enjoyed his federally-granted status as a quasi-US citizen.

SOME DAY MEXICAN COPS MAY SHOOT ILLEGAL MEXICANS IN THE US: Santa Fe will hire Mexican nationals as law enforcement officers. Based on what goes on in Mexico with cops, that won’t end well. On the other hand, if you’re feeling insecure about wandering around Santa Fe, you’ll be able to hire a cop off his beat for about sixty bucks as your armed guard, same as in Juarez.

UNFORTUNATE: An immigration attorney teaching at West Point mischaracterizes what servicemembers fight for. It’s not the government they defend, but rather the Constitution. [Hat Tip: Bender’s Immigration Bulletin.

ASARCO STINKS IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE: Asarco, the once-and-future smelting plant on the West Side of El Paso, has spent thousands on local radio ads proclaiming how its operation will create four hundred or so jobs for the three-quarter million El Pasoans to choose from. Perhaps one of those jobs will be tax attorney.

AND THERE’S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO POLLUTE EL PASO: Don’t sneak away from the campfire just yet, Tigua Indians. If you paid your taxes, the State of Texas might be more lenient about your desperate desire to fleece grasping Hispanics and Gringos at that casino you so badly want.

IS IT XXXXXX RESTAURANT FOR BRIBE-ISTA BETTI FLORES? Someone said it is a BBQ place in town. I don’t know, even though a waitress in one well-known place offered me all the free Mountain Dew I want for 25 cents. And an extra half-rack of ribs for just a dollar. I keed. But honestly, $10k for a vote? That’s chump change, even in a burg where the median income is something like a thousand pesos, or something.

GOOD FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS: Except on the Southwest Border. El Paso Times ran an article on Border Patrol workers who repair vandalized or destroyed fence portions along the border. Can’t find it now, but a simple fact for politicians to ponder remains: It takes far more resources to maintain an initiative than it does to implement it. Starting up something just to win an elections means you might have to slog throught the boring side of politics to keep it going, especially if it’s a Bill, say, or a bridge that has your first and last name on it.

HANDS ACROSS THE BORDER FENCE: Opponents of a border fence announced sixteen days of protests. El Paso mayor John Cook is joining forces with 4 Borders Pundit’s favorite loopy locals, the Border Network for Human Rights, to protest, umm, something. None of the participating groups have offered any concrete solutions, methinks, because none of those mentioned in the article seem to have any kind of overarching, holistic expertise on the intricacies of border life, to say nothing of figuring out what to do with those irksome illegals who go after Border Patrol agents with bolt-cutters and get shot to death for it.

HOW TO KILL OFF RESTAURANTS: Govern them to death. Business and liberal-left politics don’t mesh well, which leads to, well, hungry dining-outers with a Bay Area attitude. I keep saying, the bottom line trumps naively optimistic tulips-and-May Day dancing, every time. The two are as incompatible as Western boots and stiletto heels.

EL PASO FBI CORRUPTION CASE UPDATE:
County Commissioner Dan Haggerty ponders the meaning of his existence and how said existence may have triggered the ongoing investigation. Haggerty recalls his contacts with the FBI back in the day, which seemingly started out as chit-chat sessions initiated by the FBI. Yeah, the FBI routinely calls up politicos to chit-chat because, you know, that’s how they like to spend taxpayers’ money. I wonder if any politician is so naive anymore and, after wondering, I doubt it.

Frank Apodaca, president and CEO of Access HealthSource Inc., got put on paid leave, likely due to the ongoing investigation. The parent company of Access HealthSource, Inc., Access Plans USA is reportedly conducting its own independent investigation.

Newspaper Tree notes that business goes on as usual inside the El Paso County Courthouse. NT seems like a decent enough online rag but, honestly, “spending the morning walking the halls and riding the elevators of the courthouse” isn’t exactly working towards establishing one’s superior journalistic bona fides.

Newspaper Tree also reports on the government’s attempt to disqualify El Paso attorney Mary Stillinger from representing three clients related to the ongoing corruption case.

Keeping the story hot, I guess, El Paso Times reports that County Commissioner Miguel Terán will not resign. Because, you know, he’s not been charged or convicted of anything. OK.

CONTENTION IN EL PASO NOT ALL RELATED TO THE FBI CORRUPTION CASE: On 03 July, a Border Patrol agent was investigating a report of illegal migrants in the vicinity of Hill and Ninth Streets. Something happened down a manhole and the BP agent fired in self-defense, wounding one. The contention is the result of the involvement of the Border Network for Human Rights, a leftist group with an office down at 1101 E. Yandell in El Paso. A few first- and second-hand accounts by Barrio Segundo residents make an El Paso Times article, with Louie Gilot’s byline. To his credit, Gilot notes the number of attacks on BP agents in the area this year: 59. Generally, according to their website, Border Network for Human Rights agitates for “basic human rights” — which sounds good to college kids — like legalization, healthy communities and human mobility. But BNHR doesn’t talk about who funds the bill. Right now the bill is paid by Americans. BNHR does not agitate for reduced attacks on Border Patrol agents, for the fiscal responsibility of educating Mexican kids in El Paso public schools by the citizens of Juarez, for equal access to Juarez schools and health care by El Pasoans, or for that matter, the right to drive around Juarez shopping without fear of murder, kidnap or robbery, as happens right across the border. I guess that’s a POE Bridge Too Far for BNHR, and it telegraphs its Leftist agenda. I’d watch my wallet if a BNHR Guevarista walked up to me.

MORE CONTENTION: Illegals are getting uppity with more than hapless Border Patrol “rocking” victims these days. Michelle Malkin links to Elvira Arellano’s announcement of a “campaign of resistance” against the US government. Who is Elvira Arellano? She’s a Mexican activist, an illegal, and a sanctuary seeker since she’s been hiding out in a church in Chicago for who knows how long. I’d think that a threat to “bring the government to a halt” warrants a raid of that church by any law enforcement entity whose members swear to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Happy Fourth of July, Elvira “FOB” Arellano.

CHURCH LADY REPORTS: On a happier, errr, more sacreligious note, seems the Roman Cathloic Mass has gotten a bit more enlightened recently. What’s next, a smoking lamp, a Tiki statue and retro-cool Members Only jackets worn by parishoners?

SHE’S NOT GOING TO BE ELECTED ANYWAY: Hillary a felon? Say it ain’t so.

IN MEXICO: Was it a flying witch? Or merely a promo for the new Harry Potter movie?

ISLAMADMINISTRIVIA: A macho, woman-hating Muslim cleric tries to flee in a burka. He didn’t want to meet 72 virgins in Paradise, apparently: he wanted to be one. How fine it is to lay the smackdown on women in Islam, and then use their identity to escape justice. I’d ask BNHR about Muslim treatment of women, because I think Pakistan has borders, I’m sure I’d only hear crickets in response.

“OFFICER’S KID”: That was a slur among military kids back in the day, and maybe today, too. Military officers had the worst-behaved kids on any base or post, or so it seemed. It was a stereotype: the successful, well-paid, college-educated servicemember and his/her crap, sluggish, juvenile delinquent spawn. These days, I guess that stereotype transmogrifies nicely to politicians.

ABOUT THAT DINING OUT EXPERIENCE: Gotta love it. Not. Not when waiters and waitresses are morons. The most hit-or-miss part of a dining experience, besides whether you’re paying $50 for a burned filleted scallop with a stale chive on top because the chef is drunk, is the wait staff. They set the tone of the meal. Or don’t. They get tipped, or don’t, depending on your perception of how they perform. So there is Bitter Waitress, a site that argues for good tips for good service, and tells great tales along the way.

And then there’s this attitude. Rule #1: Never leave less than a 20% tip. It’s “tipping poorly” if you have a problem with anything, according to 86 Bad Tips. Including sluggish, forgetful, annoying, stumbling, snot-dripping, angry, failed, besotted wait staff. Well, I guess the red, black and yellow colors of the web page tip you to the militant attitude of its host.

Here’s another waiter blog.

And another.

Here’s an article that will make you end your dining-out experience and just cook at home.

LOL THIS: You’ve heard of LOL Cats. Now get ready for LOL terrorists. My entries are here.

Malia Politzer writes on illegal migration in Reason Online. It’s a feature story, so there is the obligatory human-interest intro, but it gets better.

Howdy ho! Let the money flow! West Texans will soon have showered upon their heads the amount of 400,000 US dollahs in support of Operation WRANGLER.

WRANGLER, you say, wassat? Why, it’s an initiative by the Texas Guv to combat crime along the border with you-know-who. NO, not New Mexico. That other Mexico.

Perry better hope the armed thugs who did this don’t move east.

On account of our Southwest border will be shown to be the terrorist-inviting empty expanse that it is.

I’m gonna have an Operation WRANGLER this weekend, too. Need some new boot-cut jeans, since the board shorts are wearing out and it’s darn cold here.