Former North Carolina senator Jesse Helms died Friday. Helms was a rambunctious, pugnacious and extraordinarily conservative American. He was not, as CNN reports, an icon for conservatives. His ideas on affirmative action, women’s rights and AIDS were offensive to the cultural norm. On the other hand, he was all for withholding funds for the UN.

…

Naaah, even that’s not good enough to weigh Heaven’s scales in his favor. Though the teary meeting with Bono, in which he was preached to by a rock star like a Baptist minister to a bucktooth moonshining whoring redneck, does help.

To be fair, the El Paso Times covered the local Democrat caucus mess — you know, the confusion, poor planning, reactions of irritated voters, and the general infighting and raucousness that typically accompanies anything associated with the Party of the People. Because locally, and nationally, the people in that Party are usually confused, out of step, irritated, pugnacious and raucous.

In other words, if you want to understand why so many people in the world can’t stand the Ugly American, you have to understand what underpins the Ugly American. It ain’t the stench of Chico’s Tacos food on his/er lips, that’s for sure.

Well, it’s not like Americans hide it anyway. The whole Dem mess — locally and nationally — is widely played out in MSM for all the world to see (and avoid). Somehow, Americans have built a nation that not only no longer seeks to hide/avoid/change its juvenile habits, but a nation that rides passports and airplanes overseas to celebrate them in the face of people who are often more politically-astute, and who don’t wear tennis shoes to the Louvre.

You could Google it. Just look at the mess Howard Dean & Co have created in Michigan and Florida. Talk about a lack of vision, i.e., a vision that Hillary would end up with something less than an annointment as the Dem candidate.

If the Dems can’t plan three months ahead for contingencies like Obama, how are they going to plan for fighting terrorism three years from now?

I suppose they could just eliminate tax breaks, so there’s a war chest to cover political shortsightedness.

Oh wait. That just happened, though surely a veto is coming.

So the Times covered the El Paso Democratic Caucus Ca-ca, and it did so here. Adriana Chávez wrote all about it. There was poor organization (though that’s really an El Paso thing, not limited to Democrat movers-and-shakers), whacked-out screaming Obama supporters in their filthy politically-charged T-shirts (tsk, tsk), and “mass confusion,” whatever that means these days.

OK — it means when sun-loving, Chicos taco-sucking locals have to play on a state or national level, they don’t have the tools, training, protocol or education to compete.

Outsiders visiting El Paso already know all that. For that matter, carpetbagging hero wannabes, like Dee Margo, and his stagemaster Guv Perry, a man who never met a wayward border town into which he wouldn’t like to stick his political pinky, know that.

Possibly to help soften the rising (?) sense of urgency over local Democrat incompetence, Times reporter Ramon Bracamontes launched a journalistic missile on March 6th, acknowledging and then glossing over the mass hysteria confusion during the caucus, noting that voter turnout in El Paso was the highest in 40 years. Good for El Paso, though we’ll see how good it is in November, when either Hillary or Obama is dispatched, and memories (or not) of the caucus still ring in the brainpans of the honest, hard-working, raise-taxes-now-dammit blue collar crowd that always votes Democrat on the border, no matter how much that hurts.

Addendum: Of course, at the time of the writings, the Chico’s Tacos shack local tradition on McRae hadn’t been shuttered, so the public was looking for something to think about, and local MSM outlets were looking for something to write about.

Let’s give appropriate props to the El Paso Times for filling in a news gap.

(golf claps)

And now the Times has gone above and beyond local expectations by filling folks in on the real political story of 2008. While the Democrat meltdown over Michigan and Florida, and superdelegate defections, is making national headlines, El Pasoans are now (thankfully) keenly aware that the GOP in nearby Alaska is having a meltdown. (Hat-tip: Dan Joling, AP writer, appearing in your local rag, courtesy of editor Don Flores.)

And now you know why you shouldn’t be upset about that whole El Paso Democrat caucus thing anymore.

Whew. For a minute there, we were worried that the Democrat Party was off-track.

UPDATE: Stop the ACLU notes a “moonbat meltdown” at Daily Kos.

And, Burnt Orange has Hillary worked up over Texas caucuses, with a clear threat to cause a delay at the state convention. You see, Obama has more caucus delegates — whoops.

Well, well.

A few thoughts on items from the week’s RSS feed:

El Paso Feeb Update: Regarding the ongoing white-collar crime investigation in El Paso, an ace reporter at El Paso Times is quick to reassure the nervous public that suspects’ jobs are safe for the time being. Thanks for covering that angle, David Crowder. I wonder why No Job Left Behind safe jobs is on your mind. Could it be the SF Chronicle downsizing that has you worried?

Dirty Word Festival in El Paso: Hurry on down: They’re cooking up a 300-pound gordita in El Paso this weekend. Isn’t that a bad word?

University of California at Bhurkastan: Decidedly right-wing rag FrontPage has the skinny on the decidedly jihadist atmosphere at UC Irvine. I always knew there was a reason I didn’t want to go there as a student: I couldn’t stand the students. And, I couldn’t find Irvine on a map. Since I’ve traveled a lot, I think that means that Irvine doesn’t matter as a geolocale.

Monkeying Around at the GOP’s Call Center: If the apes working the phone lines (we hate all apes) aren’t bringing in the moola, fire ‘em. Don’t stop to consider why people are turned off to the Grand Old Party right about now. It’s always the messengers, not the message. Clearly, the GOP boys are in panic mode, and the firings underscore their desperation. They also underscore your chances of succeeding in government work if these clowns retain any semblence of power. I guess if the Elephunts fire enough underlings, they’ll figure things out. Just like when your ship is sinking and you panic: you toss overboard the bosun’s mates, the engineers, the fire control team, and the deckhands. But the ship still sinks and then it’s only you, Cap’n, and your first, second and third mates left to ponder why she hasn’t righted herself. Davy Jones’ locker awaits the idiots who pull stunts like this, and the ship will smash into the ocean floor in 2008.

ACLU Update: If there’s a political opportunity for the treasonous silly ACLU, they’ll take it. Seems the ACLU is supporting al Qaeda suspects who are suing Boeing for being flown away by the CIA on Boeing aircraft. That’s like a rat suing God for being carried away in the belly of a hungry cat. It’ll never fly, of course, and the rat is going to rightly die soon, but the ACLU seems to understand that publicity stunts bring in money. Moola. Dosh. And headlines. And web page hits. Too bad there aren’t other kinds of hits influencing the ACLU, an organization that stops just short of a kind of Goebbels-meets-Sheehan-with-a-law-degree attitude. Someone wipe the snot out of the ACLU’s childlike nose, please.

Latin Libido Update: Venezuela’s tin-foilt hat-wearing Hugo Chavez disgustingly climbs into bed with Hillary Clinton and charges that a vast “right-wing conspiracy” is after his guv’mint. The mental image made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. But why not Hot Hillary? I mean, he was all over Cindy Sheehan like ketchup on fries. If he can dig that stuff, then his “right wing conspiracy” message is nothing more, really, than an invitation to a Weekend in Caracas for the obviously-single (and implicitly-divorced) Hil of the Hill.

Barber Shop Blues: Finally, John “Breck Girl” Edwards gets $400 haircuts. Why can’t his– ahem –intellectual better Al Gore see a better barber?

Was there ever any question but that banning illegals from renting in the US would fail faster than a Democratic timetable for withdrawal from Iraq? Naturally, the ACLU was all over this — you’ve got to admire the Union’s ability to sniff out high-profile material for its own publicity purposes.

JihadWatch is all over the University of California at Irvine’s latest Muslim outrage. And I thought cinderblock statements were so 1970.

Yin, Yang and attorneys: This smacks of more clever backroom dealing than Dems are probably capable of pulling off. Ms Yang isn’t hurting anymore; shucks, plenty of people are leaving government service for better-paying jobs.

But barely making the news anymore: California Okie, allegedly grieving mother and Professional Nutroot Cindy Sheehan quits the Democrat Party. I don’t know what will be missed more: her heartfelt “grieving” for her son, expressed only in politicking, or her (literally) attachment to Hugo Chavez and Jesse Jackson. Sheehan is up for the “Tool of the Decade” award, you know. And her meds haven’t helped her one dang bit.

The French military may be a joke to some, but they’re really a competent fighting force once they get unshackled by their snotty, and usually cowardly, politician overlords. Watch some shackled troops let off steam here.

This goat needs a 12-step program to get off his addiction, as do so many Democrats who keep “embracing the suck” and licking electricity. Will the Dems get any smarter than this goat?

Tired of staid American politics, where the men are dumb when not corrupt and the women wear that Beltway fashion thing of red-colored jackets and pearl chokers? YesButNoButYes points us to Belgium, where things are perking up.

One gets weary: Dems, local pols and libel. Say anything, Dems, and keep saying it.

Digger’s Realm posts a lot on immigration and border security issues, but this Pew Hispanic Center datapoint is off-base. Fact is, most migrants go back and forth between the US and their home countries (usually Mexico and Central America). It’s a stat thing, and it’s enormously hard to get accurate figures on the number of illegals in the US.

US News & World Report thinks illegals don’t contribute to society (in the form of taxes and so on) what they remove from it. That’s contrary to what I studied a long time ago, in a far away university. Times may have changed, however. Used to be, illegals didn’t take advantage of things like medical insurance and drivers licenses.

In case you, Whitey, are feeling a nostalgia for a lifestyle you never knew — that of your Caucasoid ancestors across the pond — there is always something popping up in the news to remind you of how misguided you are. Whether its thousands dead in France because doctors were on summer holiday, or thousands dead in the Balkans because democracy was on holiday, you can always rest assured that whitey’s grass isn’t always greener. Naples, Italy, shows us how right now.

Pining for a good book? How about drug-addled horses with racially-stereotyped names getting high wit’ it ‘n’ shit? For children only.

No, I’m not kidding:

Now that’s a corral I wanna stable with. ‘N’ shit.

And finally, to end on a good note, the bovinian influence of that Mad Cow, Rosie O’Donnell, won’t sully your TV screens for the time being. The depressed, medicated and overrated hay-chomper has quit ABC’s “The View.”

What, she had a show on Australian TV??

Someone on the show named Hasselbeck didn’t see eye-to-fat with the pudgy plebian princess O’Donnell. So who won? The medicated one? Not. I don’t know if H is the grinning skinny blonde or the one with the cheekily-tossed off-red hair like an extra from “Golden Girls.” And I don’t care. All I want to see is Rosie and Paris Hilton in the same jail cell, starring in the same B-movie. Something about exploitation, prison discipline, midnight PT and dungarees, I think.

UPDATE: The Nose on Your Face draws a connection to a recent news event that will make you laugh or make you puke a little in your mouth.