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El Paso’s Crookedly-Singing Mayor

Saturday, September 18th, 2010

Mayor John Cook, sometimes slurred as Mayor Crook (but only because nearly everyone around him is convicted, under investigation, or suspected of corruption), wants to "annex" Fort Bliss.  He wants this so as to take advantage of the allegedly massive tax base that exists on the Army post.  So we made a song that we hope sums up the nature of Crook, El Paso and… why, yes — why the local guvmint has a problem paying first-responders their due.  It's because Crook & Co have squandered the city treasury on misc. silliness.  Enjoy!

 

 

THIS POST IS MY POST

 

CHORUS

This post is our post, this post is my post

From Cassidy, to Biggs Airfield

From the Dyer redline, to McGregor Range

This post was made for taxing you

 

As I was walking Spur 601

I saw above me an Army sign

I saw below me a tax man sign

This post was made for taxing you

 

CHORUS

 

I've sang and stumbled and I've slept with hoodlums

Ethics Commission and drug-soaked buddies

And all around me, corruption cases

This post was made for you and me

 

CHORUS

 

The dollars shining as I was thinking

My failures growing and charges pending

How could I pay them, the local cops

This post was made for you and me

 

CHORUS

 

As I was ploddin'  -  I saw a sign there

And that sign said – 'corruption free'

But on the other side… it didn't say nothin!

Now that side was made for El Paso!

 

CHORUS

 

In Magoffin Alley – where we began

Near to my office – I see my people

Who wonder how, we spent it all

And if this post's still made for you and me.

 

CHORUS (2x)

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28 July 2007: Your Weekend RSS Update

Sunday, July 29th, 2007

As you can see, we’re working on a new website design. Due to technical difficulties, you may experience problems viewing this site. Do not adjust your set.

FBI EL PASO CORRUPTION CASE:
In 2006, real estate speculators descended on El Paso after BRAC results were announced. The housing market boomed. This year, the lawyer market is exploding.

Lawyer Mary Stillinger ain’t gonna represent Ysleta School Board Trustee Milton “Mickey” Duntley, El Paso School Board Trustee Charles Roark, and former NCED Chief Operating Officer Ernie Lopez. So said Hizzoner, U.S. District Court Judge Frank Montalvo.

MISCELLANY:
The El Paso Empowerment Zone (not our beloved Adventure Zone, where 4 Borders Pundit can be found anytime he is in El Paso avoiding his day job), is in trouble with HUD over its spending. Newspaper Tree has the details. Goodness: liquor purchases, charges without documentation and apparently unauthorized trips with teenagers. But let’s see: booze, fraud and teens running around without parental supervision: sounds like a typical American urban environment to me, so maybe HUD is off-base on this.

Wannabe DA Theresa Caballero opines on corruption in El Paso and holds a special place in her pen for DA Jaime Esparza. Esparza probably needs to reassess whether he’s been asleep at the wheel while corruption broke all around this wannabe fair city, and Caballero’s published friends-and-foes list, helpfully laid out in her blog, probably deserves a link chart.

Mudville Gazette is all over the Scott Thomas Beauchamp story. If you haven’t heard yet, Beauchamp runs a blog called Sir Real Scott Thomas, in which he portrayed soldiers, including himself, being assholes, UCMJ violators and possibly criminals, in Iraq. He may have written his brutal stories while in Germany, or while in the Middle East. Truth will tell soon enough, but fact is, Beauchamp writes like a wannabe Hunter S. Thompson, but without the Southern gentility (Thompson was courteous about women), or a certain gonzo tactfulness: HST never made fun of a disfigured woman. And there’s the difference. Thompson, who served in the Air Force, got in trouble with his chain of command for writing up local wrestling matches as if the fighting, blood, rivalries and injuries were real, while Beauchamp goes gonzo by mixing American Psycho, Private Pyle and Catch-22, all randomly, like a drunk with the munchies and a working ATM card. If what Beauchamp writes about his daily “landscaping” duties is real, then what better GI’s know as “weeds-and-seeds” or “pavements and grounds” detail is probably what he deserves. That’s where screwups go in the military.

Sorry, El Paso Times. Your story on disabled El Pasoans suing Chico’s Tacos is mis-headlined. It’s the Paso Del Norte Civil Rights Project doin’ the suin’, not the disabled themselves. Me, I’d sooner sue Chico’s for putting too much cheese on those flautas. And I wonder why PDNCRP wants to damn with faint praise this overrated chain by calling it a “quintessential El Paso tradition.” I mean, does this advocacy group hate Chico’s, or El Paso in general? Quintesseintially, I think the Project just hates, period.

Living in the Borderland as we do, it’s likely none of us have ever thought much about immigration. Except those who constantly complain that El Paso, Laredo, Deming, Las Cruces, and various — ahem — lesser metropolises in between don’t meet our sophisticated, well-bred needs. Fortunately, the International Association of Chiefs of Police have thought about migration, and put out a handy guide on the topic, which you can read in the comfort of your migrant-infested home here.

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