So ASARCO got their air quality permit, thanks to the State of
An air quality permit is not the same as a politically-accurate permit asserting that the quality of air emitted by Texas bureaucrats is any finer than the sublime perfumes of the nearest stockyard.
It’s just a permit, and permits are permitted, by law and by the very nature of the word.
That’s the reality of how home-grown carpetbaggers roll in The Lone Stud State.
Thus, despite our potentially-choked lungs and could-be lead-laden watery eyes (or not), and surrounded by our devoted MS-afflicted offspring and our three-legged dogs, we are pushing through with a series of parodies. The first comes now, and why did ASARCO make it so easy for us?
Now here’s a world-class ASARCO original ™ ad, suitable for
parody naked adulation. Note the dramatic effect of black-and-white postering, which is not to say it’s fascist in design, as there are no red spot color calls that would complete the Teutonic Triumvirate of black-white-red (often used by Nazis, South American political parties, Chicano farm workers movements and beret-wearing, scooter-riding, grandma-killing commie Guevaristas (which is the same as at least one Obama campaign worker). The designer could have just had a bad day. What with the bankruptcy and uncertainty over pay stubs, it’s possible ASARCO had to cull the bottom of the advertisorial barrel for a graphic artist who would work in exchange for stock futures. Which is not to say the Artist was a punk, except s/he could have been just a tad desperate. Or s/he could have been a corporate wonk alarmingly left alone with PowerPoint of a frantic afternoon, with a 5 p.m. deadline to fax ad thumbnails to Guadalupe or Rio de Right Wing, Argentina, or Hull, or Kosovo, or wherever ASARCO decides its off-shore corporate HQ is this week. (Click for full-sized badness):
And here’s our new ad, built during an all-nighter in between coughing jags, blood tests for lead poisoning at the ER, and furious phone consultations with both lead poisoning specialists at the Mayo Clinic and alcohol-poisoning specialists at Acetunas (click for full-sized goodness and click again for print-sized wonderfulness, if your so-called Internet browser supports that):
Later on, once we’ve exhausted all medical approaches to our health issues as well as creative approaches to parodying ASARCO, we’re going to explore other reasons for Mayor
Crook’s Cook’s opposition to the re-opening of ASARCO. Can anyone say “land grab?”
Can anyone say, “FBI El Paso Corruption Investigation?” We knew you could.