OP, the Old Prospector, pulled up to my house in a brand spanking new E320 BlueTEC Sedan.

“Say, partner,” I said, “is that a Mercedes-Benz?”

“Yup,” he said. And then proceeded to tell me all about the 24-valve V-6 engine that delivers 210 horsepower, or something.

“Well, that sure beats your old mule,” I said.

OP only took offense for a second.

“Hell, man, I’m rich!” he declared, staring at me to see if I believed him.

I believed him because I saw the golf clubs sticking out of the trunk with the Coronado Country Club sticker on the bag.

“So have you gone West Side?” I asked.

He looked at me like I was dumb.

“I got a pay raise,” he said, eyeing my xeriscaped (i.e., cheap) front yard and my wood-and-plastic bench on the porch, and my ages-old Justin workboots. “Everyone’s doing it.”

It clicked.

Half of El Paso’s elected, appointed or self-annointed guv’mint officials are getting pay raises these days.

What with the ongoing FBI corruption investigation, I guess everyone who’s anyone on a potential court docket list is trying to grab what they can, just in case.

Just in case they need to relocate assets and asses to Mexico or Texaco or Aruba. Or any outlying outlet where the crazy local ruling body has no extradition treaty with the US, like North Korea or Austin.

I guess 30,105 extra clams will buy any under-suspicion County Commissioners Court member about six months of defense lawyer work, or a year’s protection in Juarez by a drug trafficking organization or, come to think of it, about 2/3 of a Mercedes-Benz E320 BlueTEC Sedan.

“Now, don’t you look at me like that,” said OP, as he ran an Armor-All cloth over the dashboard. “I’m not on the Commissioner’s Court. You know as well as I do that I wouldn’t qualify for that elite club.

“Hell, I’m too damn honest!”