Because it’s only a matter of time until Democratic presidential candidates turn up in Iraq to occupy valuable mess hall seats and be photo-opped, 4 Borders Pundit has obtained this series of hand signals that troops will use to avoid them. (Hat tip: Army Field Manual 69-FUBAR)

DEMOCRAT PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFUL DINING HALL HAND SIGNALS

Men, it’s time for chow. But be on the lookout for Democrat presidential candidates.

I see a bogie!

Squad, take cover and stay out of the mess hall!

Follow my lead. We enter quietly through a side door. Lock and load your forks.

Now, does anyone want to dine with Democrats?

Shaddup about it, already. You don’t have to dine with them.

I know they hate you because you are stupid and got stuck in Iraq, but tone down the rhetoric.

Enter the chow hall in groups of two. Look out for Obama bombs and Murtha Salad.

Come on ladies, don’t be shy. Oops, no, Ms Clinton, I didn’t mean to infer that you are a lady!

Everyone’s in the dining facility, Lieutenant! You can come in now.

Spread out and cover the salad bar and Willilam Arkin.

Sarge, I’m too close to Hillary Clinton! Ick!

MOPP 4, Private! Gas mask and protective gear!

Sarge, it’s too much! I’m choking on her estrosterone!

Wave off, wave off! Get out of there!

But, Sarge, you think she might give me a…?

You’re a fool. Check her for cojones first! Remember Bangkok and the DNC Convention?

Ha ha!

Sarge, the Dems are stealing my wallet!

That’s a no-no, men. Fiscal conservatism is the way to go.

Sarge, Hillary bit my arm! I think she stole my wallet!

Shake it off. However, “fisting” is not addressed in the UCMJ. Lock and load wrists!

Move back and forth until you get your wallet back!

Use just a finger on Obama and Kerry. They’re no Hillary.

Success! Mission accomplished. Kerry had it.

Yeah, mission accomplished. But we still didn’t get to eat.

Withdraw to the Burger King trailer! MOVE OUT!

Jeez. What would the Iowa legislature think of lucha libre that’s so popular in border towns? They’d probably want them to wear helmets. Or send ICE to check their passports.

Here are a couple of pictures that will send the Iowa Legislature into a shizzle-fit.

The first one is a ladder that was “procured” from somewhere in the arena. Skybird launched off the top of it to achieve a match-winning pin on unsuspecting luchador. In the second, an “extreme” match that is rare these days, a couple of locals used an ironing board, drywall, trash can lids and two-by-fours to pound each other into bloody submission.

Where did they get that ladder?

The guy on the left used to do my ironing until he went pro.

The horror. The horror. In the more liberal, progressive and culturally-advanced city of El Paso (worth a drive on the weekend, for entertainment), Iowa politicians wouldn’t stand a chance. They’d be gunned down faster than John Wesley Hardin.

Wimps.

More at Lucha Wiki.

Hat tip: State 29.