April, 2007

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Black Alliance for Just Immigration Just Rode Into Town; Excuse Me While I Whip This (Post) Out

Sunday, April 29th, 2007

It should be easy to spot the Black Alliance for Just Immigration (BAJI) when they arrive on the border soon to “investigate the human rights violations against documented and undocumented immigrants crossing the border into the United States as well as the violations against U.S. citizens.”

I like that last bit. Gotta throw that in to be PC.

Why is it easy to spot African-Americans on the border? Because not many live here. El Paso County, for example, is 3.1% black.

None of the African-American invaders, who have stolen native land alongside the white devils, have said to date, as BAJI reps state, “”We are appalled by the increasing militarization of the border areas and the reports of rising migrant deaths, detentions of immigrants without due process, and violence against people attempting to cross the Mexican desert into the United States.” So said Phil Lawson, co-founder of BAJI said.

For those who don’t know, BAJI is a progressive, Berkeley-based organization of, by and for African Americans and Black immigrants (whatever that latter means). It’s been around since April 2006, and Berkeley isn’t big enough for its aspirations.

I’d have hoped BAJI would agitate, as we all know the NAACP does, for more conservative, white migrants to Berkeley, Alameda County and the East Bay. But so it goes.

Welcome to the Southwest Border, BAJI friends, I guess. It’s a big place — there’s room for us, and you and all the koo-koo leftist donkeys you rode in on.

Will be interesting to see the outcome of this visit. The IntarWebs doesn’t give an agenda, which suggests BAJI hasn’t got enough clout to have scheduled one. Maybe it’s a big secret. Maybe it’s play as you go. Maybe it’s pay as you go.

Now, hold your nose and read this statement by an outfit calling itself the national network for immigrant and refugee rights [sic]. That’s right, they are too shy to capitalize their name. NNIRR is in bed with BAJI.

And here’s a puff piece on BAJI. Most interesting is BAJI’s stated aim to forge relationships with immigrant groups. Meaning those immigrant groups who’d rather not face the letter of the law.

Hey, avoiding the law in Mexico works just fine. Why not adapt that here?

BAJI would no doubt agree, as those East Bay crime rates unfairly target Blacks.

Over at the loathsome IndyMedia, BAJI “Gestapo” turned up denouncing “Gestapo” dententions of illegal aliens in the Bay Area. Gestapo. SS. What’s the dif, to a group for whom the Constitution is now an emotional issue rather than a guiding light and an ideal for personal behavior?

For what amounts to yet another shitbird Berkeley activist group, BAJI sure gets a lot of publicity. Maybe everyone’s afraid to call a rock a rock, on account of the rock being black African-American a nappy-headed ho stupid yet politically-correct.

Stupid this:

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“Kentucky Fried Hillary” Is Trite and Over-Used; We Present “Deliverance Hillary”

Saturday, April 28th, 2007

UPDATE: Slate apologizes for Hillary.

UPDATE II: Thanks to … just for the record for posting my PS without credit.

Now this is Gonzo:

That’s either an early picture of her in her Southern days, or her secret love child with Burt Reynolds.

But anyway, the fumbling biddy is still stuck on stupid. She joked off her Black English Vernacular-fueled pandering to African-Americans by saying the “country is ready for a multilingual president.” She noted she’s lived in the south and the north, and Illinois (which is so far away from our Borderland it appears to be in Canada).

Last we knew, converging one’s dialect with BEV, in order to get votes from African-Americans, goes over only slightly better than New Illinarkansans adapting hip-hop lingo and calling everyone “nappy headed ho’s.”

What will she do in Detroit? Adopt a retro-House rhyming style, riffing off Don Imus and Snoop Dog? What about North Dakota? Will she say, “Ya” alot? How about Brooklyn, or the Bay Area, or Maine?

Linguistics graduate students must be salivating over their research proposals right about now.

Now, it seems like anytime a big name screws up, s/he is obligated to embrace his/er suck, like Hillary is now doing. What else could she do? Sink her campaign by apologizing on Al Sharpton’s radio show? That’ll never happen, not by her or any of the presidential candidates. That’s like throwing yourself on a pit barbecue and inviting over several hundred of your worst political enemies for the cookout.

You’ve got to admire political handlers who stay up all night thinking up reasons why some FUBAR act by a politician is not only natural and reasonable, but good for the country. There’s this big call-girl scandal going in DC, but that’s nothing. A few for-profit tarts simply can’t compare to the conniving campaign call-girls who work for these candidates.

Obligatory Southwest Border Angle: Fake doesn’t cut it here. The desert is harsh, and many lives are too, and conceit, arrogance, pandering and other common traits of aspiring politicians are perceived as inefficient and potentially life-threatening in a tough and dangerous environment. Ask the snake curled by the cactus what he thinks of Clinton’s attitude and he’ll tell you: “Hsssssssss.”

BACKGROUND: Here’s the awful, patronizing, near-racist Selma Hillary.

And here’s the YouTube clip of Suth’run Hillary, Part II.

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Hillary Clinton Joins La Raza

Wednesday, April 25th, 2007

Out here on the border, antiquated concepts of race lie in the desert like deserted DeSoto cars. Rusted and abandoned, they remain mile markers on a road to an ugly past. Occasionally, tourists come out with a tow truck in tow, and pick up one and haul it away.

The locals are usually happy about that.

Hillary Clinton was poking through the desert the other day. She found none other than Raul Yzaguirre, a washed-up Latino racist whose ideas are more tired than the indigenous Mexican burro on which he rode to intellectual splendor and great acclaim from guilty American liberals.

You can read a sympathetic entry about La Raza here. Most importantly, Hillary will be pleased to note that La Raza became a multi-million dollar producing exclusionist advocacy group. Vampire-like, she clearly expects to be able to suck dollars out of the necks of the people Yzaguirre co-opted (in the finest Mexican tradition of co-optation).

Yzaguirre often engaged in inflammatory rhetoric to make his racist points. He once deried an English-language movement by saying, “US English is to Hispanics as the Ku Klux Klan is to blacks.”

Classy guy all around.

No, actually, he’s a schmuck, that Yiddish probably being to his ears like a Border Patrol agent is to a coyote. Which helps explain why he got picked up by Billary for her campaign: she needs bigger schmucks than she is, in order to come across like a sensible, moderate woman person.

Aztlan, Chicomoztoc: The spiritual homes of Yzaguirre.

MEChA. Chicano Progressives. La Raza Cosmica. Californio. Nuevomexicano. Tejano. Pachuco: his frames of reference.

When Hillary Clinton isn’t test-driving her own 1966 Thunderbird convertible for her Thelma and Louise moment through such laughables as her newly-discovered Black English Vernacular accent, she’s busy one-upping John Edwards’ misguided choices of campaign web lackeys.

But you know, it’s really not hard to take Yzaguirre for a racist when he chaired an outdated, clownish organization whose basic identity was underpinned by the concept of race.

And that won’t play well on the border, where most immigrants would still rather be American than Mexican-American, Raza, Chicanos, Latinos, Hispanics or, for that matter, Clintonistas.

Hat Tip: Diggers Realm

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Potty Mouth: Sheryl Crow and Her Single-Square Teepee

Monday, April 23rd, 2007

Six Meat Buffet weighs in on Sheryl Crow’s recent TP-in-mouth event. PoliPundit provides the background. The Smoking Gun has the goods on Crow’s eco-friendly, paper-minimized needs backstage for each show.

Yours truly offers the new song below (thanks, Six Meat Buffet for the publicity).

UPDATE: Riehl World View contributes to Crow’s new album.

UPDATE II: Michelle Malkin is covering. Read the comments.

All I Wanna Poo
(sung to the tune of Sheryl Crow’s, “All I Wanna Do”)
 
Wipe it!
This ain’t no latrine
It ain’t no restroom either
This is WC!
 
“All I wanna do is wipe a little more before I die,”
Says the man next to me coming out of the loo
It’s apropos
Of nothing
He says his name’s Chertoff but I’m sure,
He’s George or Dick or Karl or Albert
And he’s plain wasteful to me
And I wonder if he’s ever had less than a roll of TP in his whole
life
We’re buying toilet paper at noon on Tuesday
In a store that faces an Enron building
The good people of the world are wiping their hineys
On their lunch break, wiping and over-using
As best they can in skirts in suits
 
They buy their fancy Charmins and Coronets
Back at the Wal-Mart, the grocery store too
Well, they’re nothing like Chertoff and me, cause
 
Chorus
All I wanna do is wipe my ass
I got a feeling this roll ain’t gonna last
All I wanna do is wipe my ass
I got a feeling this roll ain’t gonna last
All I wanna do is wipe my ass
Until the sun comes up over my gas-guzzling bus
 
I like a concert tour early in the morning
And Chertoff likes to ride along
With his cases of Soft Weave
He unrolls them on the bar
Then he separates each square
Putting each one on the bar with his thick fingers
before counting and handing them out
And he’s watching the squares of Scott as the roadies take
them away
 
And a Soft Weave vendor enters a store
Waving coupons and clean hands
The manager looks up from his paper samples
 
Chorus
 
Otherwise the bus is ours,
The other bus and the roadie bus and the 18-wheelers too
The carbon offsets aren’t enough to buy all the clean diesel
fuel
And I’d like the sun and the moon but
 
Chorus

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GOG: Gang of Generals Plankholder Zinni is Back

Monday, April 16th, 2007

Belgravia Dispatch reports on the re-emergence (did he ever really disappear) of retired General and GOG plankholder Zinni. Zinni logrolls another Marine, former LANTCOM head General John Sheehan. Between both of them, their two or three brain cells are firing off on the Administration not knowing where to go in Iraq. Zinni thinks we need to rethink our strategy on how to “handle” Iraq,” lest the Middle East become a sanctuary for extremist groups.

Sheesh. Was he sleeping during his intel briefings when he more or less ran CENTCOM?

Zinni goes on to offer that more debate was needed on policy and strategy in the Middle East. Then he telegraphs his “every Marine is a rifleman first” mindset by framing major Middle East policy initiatives in tactical terms: “You can make an argument for a surge if you were going to withdraw, to cover the withdrawal, for example, or to contain, to reposition forces or to re-engage in a different way or a stronger way.”

OK, lieutenant.

Your Gang of Generals poster stands unamended after your latest PR effort:

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Scary Hillary Pic: The Something Awful Response

Thursday, April 5th, 2007

The Goons at Something Awful take on the latest Hillary horror of a photograph. Has there been a less photogenic candidate since pre-beard Lincoln? Original below:

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Spotting Democratic Presidential Candidates in Iraq — An Army Field Guide

Monday, April 2nd, 2007

Because it’s only a matter of time until Democratic presidential candidates turn up in Iraq to occupy valuable mess hall seats and be photo-opped, 4 Borders Pundit has obtained this series of hand signals that troops will use to avoid them. (Hat tip: Army Field Manual 69-FUBAR)

DEMOCRAT PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFUL DINING HALL HAND SIGNALS


Men, it’s time for chow. But be on the lookout for Democrat presidential candidates.


I see a bogie!


Squad, take cover and stay out of the mess hall!


Follow my lead. We enter quietly through a side door. Lock and load your forks.


Now, does anyone want to dine with Democrats?


Shaddup about it, already. You don’t have to dine with them.


I know they hate you because you are stupid and got stuck in Iraq, but tone down the rhetoric.


Enter the chow hall in groups of two. Look out for Obama bombs and Murtha Salad.


Come on ladies, don’t be shy. Oops, no, Ms Clinton, I didn’t mean to infer that you are a lady!


Everyone’s in the dining facility, Lieutenant! You can come in now.


Spread out and cover the salad bar and Willilam Arkin.


Sarge, I’m too close to Hillary Clinton! Ick!


MOPP 4, Private! Gas mask and protective gear!


Sarge, it’s too much! I’m choking on her estrosterone!


Wave off, wave off! Get out of there!


But, Sarge, you think she might give me a…?


You’re a fool. Check her for cojones first! Remember Bangkok and the DNC Convention?


Ha ha!


Sarge, the Dems are stealing my wallet!


That’s a no-no, men. Fiscal conservatism is the way to go.


Sarge, Hillary bit my arm! I think she stole my wallet!


Shake it off. However, “fisting” is not addressed in the UCMJ. Lock and load wrists!


Move back and forth until you get your wallet back!


Use just a finger on Obama and Kerry. They’re no Hillary.


Success! Mission accomplished. Kerry had it.


Yeah, mission accomplished. But we still didn’t get to eat.


Withdraw to the Burger King trailer! MOVE OUT!

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Iowa Guv’mint and Wrestling — Huh?

Monday, April 2nd, 2007

Jeez. What would the Iowa legislature think of lucha libre that’s so popular in border towns? They’d probably want them to wear helmets. Or send ICE to check their passports.

Here are a couple of pictures that will send the Iowa Legislature into a shizzle-fit.

The first one is a ladder that was “procured” from somewhere in the arena. Skybird launched off the top of it to achieve a match-winning pin on unsuspecting luchador. In the second, an “extreme” match that is rare these days, a couple of locals used an ironing board, drywall, trash can lids and two-by-fours to pound each other into bloody submission.

Where did they get that ladder?

The guy on the left used to do my ironing until he went pro.

The horror. The horror. In the more liberal, progressive and culturally-advanced city of El Paso (worth a drive on the weekend, for entertainment), Iowa politicians wouldn’t stand a chance. They’d be gunned down faster than John Wesley Hardin.

Wimps.

More at Lucha Wiki.

Hat tip: State 29.

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